I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize