I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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