Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
