i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
