It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Why did my mother make you get naked?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
