Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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