this beer tastes like vomit already
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
