I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
