You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
