If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
