just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
