Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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