everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
