I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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