Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
