If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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