Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize