ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's just like the Real World with babies
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
