we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
