***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She needs sedatives and a leash
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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