Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
