Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
