Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My pussy is not your playground.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
