It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
zippers are such a cool invention
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
