What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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