Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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