this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
