Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
