If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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