It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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