Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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