i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
