Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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