You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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