I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
