Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
