shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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