I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
