is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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