weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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