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Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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