you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
