There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
