bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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