just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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