Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
