it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I touched a dick in church today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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