We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
