I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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