Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
