if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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