Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
