oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
