i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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