I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
