when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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