Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
