piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
